It's been a strange week. A week of stressing over problems that seemed so distressing. Quinn got into a fight with Jackson just before the weekend and tore off a chunk from the top of Jackson's ear, which truly horrified me. My beautiful, handsome Jackson (who I teasingly call Van Gogh now) will never look quite the same again.
Then yesterday I was totally stressing over money problems when I realized my paychecks won't cover my monthly bills this month, thanks to having to replace both sets of truck brakes. It feels as if it's been one money issue after another for the past year, and I was seriously wondering if I can continue to afford to support as many dogs as I have. While at the same time wondering just how in the world I could decide which ones I could bear to part with if I have to downsize....not to mention if I downsize the kennel then I can't continue with my racing plans, goals, dreams and have to downsize those as well.
But life has a funny way of putting things in perspective sometimes.
I sit here in shock, in mourning, in sadness after finding out today that a very good friend from my former "musician life" died last year from lung cancer. I don't know how I didn't find out until now. I've been on her elist for news - yet somehow, word of her passing never reached me at the time. I never even knew she was sick. I had lost touch the past few years... too busy with my new life to keep up with the many friends I made in the music industry... and, I'll admit, a tad embarrassed to face those friends from the biz with the fact that I gave up my career for the dogs and hardly have time to play anymore (ok, let's be honest: I haven't picked up the guitar in longer than I can remember).
She was the most amazing, talented pianist and keyboardist I have ever heard. And she was one of the sweetest and warmest human beings I've ever met. She would give her right arm to help you, and it was largely thanks to her wisdom and advice and encouragement that I released my own first album independently in 1998.
It seems so unfair - why did this wonderful, gifted person who didn't even smoke wind up dying of lung cancer in the prime of her life? Why her?
It really makes all the petty stuff I was worrying and stressing about seem so insignificant in comparison. What's the big deal if Jackson's ear no longer looks perfect, or if I can't pay off the new brakes this month, or if I can't afford obedience classes this summer - I'm alive, I'm healthy.
Laurie Z....I feel honored to have known you, to have been your friend.....and will miss you.
